Why Men Do Dangerous Things (It’s Not About Being Brave)

Today I’m going to be explaining to you why it is that men love engaging in dangerous activities.

By dangerous activities, I mean those activities which, as a man, you really know that this thing is not good for you. You may lose your life, your relationship, lots of money, mostly which you’re not prepared to lose. You just find yourself engaging in an activity which has negative consequences in your life and can’t seem to stop it, you even enjoy the thrill of it.

You may be a trader who’s trading, let’s say, $20k+ on one single trade without any stop-loss. You just want to spend a lot of dollars gambling without knowing when to pull out, or you may be staying in a toxic relationship. You know it’s harmful. Your friends are advising you against it, but you still stick to it.

The thing is this is so much related to emotional numbness.

Emotional Numbness = Emotionally Flat

So mostly, something about being numb is you are operating emotionally on a very, very low baseline. So, for you to really feel some sort of happiness or some sort of excitement, you need something very, very high.

Let’s go back a bit. The thing is, in life we want to be happy, right? We want to experience some joy, some sadness here and there, cry there and laugh. But when you are feeling detached and emotionless, those things are very, very distant. And because you want them, you desire them, and you can’t seem to find them in the small things of life, let’s say small things like taking a walk, calling a friend, having one, two, or three beers, watching a movie, just those small things which give you some excitement.

When You Feel Nothing, You Are Desperate to Feel Something

When you’re emotionally blunt, you struggle to experience excitement from those things, so you end up looking for something which is up there, something which will give you a spike.

For example, if you’re a forex trader, trading can give you that pump, like you want to spend $100,000+ on a trade after a loss, just to feel that adrenaline high. Or something like binge drinking, like drinking the whole day so that you can get a buzz, because for you the normal small buzzes are not there, because you’re numb, you’re numbed out. So you want a higher buzz.

That’s why men who are numb or who have numbed out their emotions tend to do these dangerous activities. Some of the dangerous activities again are things like skydiving with crazy stunts or other daring activities which may lead to your death, because those things are really, really intense near-death experiences which push you to the limit.

So, by pushing to the limit, those are the only things which can make you feel alive, because for people who are not numb, small things like taking a walk by the beach, talking to a friend, playing a game here and there, or watching a movie give them some sort of excitement.

But now, because you’re numbed out, you want something which is high up there.

So, the main reason why most men engage in dangerous activities or thrill seeking is not really because they are manly or brave. It’s because they’re so numbed out to the point where those small things in life don’t give them excitement.

Those small things in life don’t give them the joy, the unpleasant sensations, the memories, the enjoyment. They want something high because they are so out of touch with reality.

They want something which is over the moon. That’s why, as a man, by really, really addressing this aspect of emotional numbness, you are able to see that life is not just in taking those bad investment decisions so that you can feel like you are doing something, so you can feel like your heart is pumping.

Being Okay with Normalcy- Normalcy is not all mediocrity

No. Sometimes it can be the slow saving. Sometimes it’s saying no to that business opportunity if you feel like you’re being scammed. Sometimes it’s saying no to that drink from a friend, or sometimes it’s going out and having a few drinks, yes, but not really doing it on a daily basis, because you know that you might get addicted. Like, you’re just okay with the normal. That is the opposite of numbness.

That’s why it’s very important for you to be honest with yourself and really see how numbness, or lack of excitement or lack of pleasantness in your current boring day-to-day life, is a very good thing for you, as it’s a sign that you really need to work on that, and you don’t need to look for something to escape.

Any Substitute is an Escape

This is because anything you look for to substitute your boring life is an escape. So boredom, actually, that boredom, that boring life, let’s say you might be working 9 to 5, you might be raising a family, you might be doing a business which is not really doing so well, you might be learning to trade if you’re a trader, or you might be in a relationship which is not really sparkling.

Those are the moments where now you get to learn yourself, learn about yourself as a man. Those are the moments where now you can get to go deeper and really find the sparks in those flats. That’s what we can call it.

Bulb Analogy

A good analogy to explain all this aspect of looking for a high is I want you to imagine emotional numbness as this dim bulb, like a bulb so dim to the point where the only way to light this bulb or to brighten this bulb is to put like a thousand volts, not one volt, 1,000 volts.

That’s why the one volt is the normal life experiences which will not light this up. But now the thousand volts are like the thrilling experiences, like, let’s say, skydiving or just doing overly risky investments. Those are now the thousand volts which will make this light spark. Hope that makes sense.

There’s No Problem with Thrilling Activities

Let’s get one thing clear. All those activities like trading, skydiving, or other thrilling activities, there is no problem with them. The problem comes when you are using those activities as an escape from the bluntness.

But if you’re just doing it with awareness, there is no problem as it’s your own choice. But for someone who is emotionally numb, it is not their choice. It is their numbness or their numbed-out self which is nudging them towards thrilling activities at the expense of these normal activities.

But if you are enjoying the thrill-seeking of drinking or just doing whatever you want in life, but at the same time you are enjoying the normal basic boredom, then you realize that there’s a balance in your life. Hope that makes sense, guys. So be aware that you are thrill-seeking, you are looking for the next big thing, you are looking for the next big high. It may be a sign that you are avoiding your emotional pain and you’ve numbed out your emotions.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.